As a wedding photographer, I've seen more speeches than I can count. I've also given a few as best man. Most of us aren't public speakers by trade, so here are the notes I've accumulated over the years in case I get asked to hold the microphone again.

“There are no rules - don’t overthink your role at the wedding, just be yourself.”

Stay True

You should resist the urge to present yourself as something you're not. If you're a natural comedian, then don't try to give an overly gushy speech. If you're the stoic sentimental type, don't write for laughs. Being authentic is the quickest way to win the crowd; people can sense honesty. There are no rules - don't overthink your role at the wedding, just be yourself.

Writing

There's no shortcut. You'll need to jot everything down, and I mean everything. Don't try too hard to make it readable yet. Just collect fragments of ideas. You'll need all these fragments in front of you to make sense of them and elaborate. It's the longest part of the writing process.

Restrain yourself from searching the internet for things to say. Anyone that's been to weddings in the past has probably heard it before, and it won't sound authentic.

Are you worrying about how your speech will land? Here's a simple question to tell whether your speech will go down like a cold bag of sick; “Would you be comfortable reading it to the bride's mother with just the two of you in a room?”

“I promise, it’s better to crush for one minute than bomb for fifteen.”

Now, pick a theme and stick to it. If something is off-topic, then cut it out. Start to piece the fragments together and flesh out your ideas. You'll find some are different ways of saying the same thing, and some notes aren't as good. Speak from the heart. Keep writing and rewriting but be brutal and edit it back. Write, read, edit, repeat.

If you're worried about giving the speech, write with this mantra. “Be clear. Be bold. Be brief.”

Your speech will be less stressful if you keep it short. No one watching has any expectations about the length of your talk. I promise, it's better to crush for one minute than bomb for fifteen.

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Speaking

I'll be honest - The writing process doesn't stop until you stand up at the wedding and open your mouth. Don't be afraid to make improvements as you hone your speech. You'll discover the tiny tongue twisters that have you stammering and stumbling over your words.

Read aloud to yourself. The video yourself delivering the speech and watch back for clarity of delivery. Keep an eye on your mannerisms. Then find a loved one or two you can trust and read it to them. Keep reading it, rewriting it, and rereading it. Practice will help your confidence, pace, and your delivery.

“Never read it from your phone, or you’ll look like you’re browsing Instagram in the wedding photographs. ”

People tend to speak around 130 words per minute in conversation. Slowing this down slightly and speaking at around 120 words per minute is a comfortable pace for a formal speech. It's slow enough that people will hear you but quick enough that people won't drift off and look at their phones.

Print your speech ready for the big day. Never read it from your phone, or you'll look like you're browsing Instagram in the wedding photographs.

Your print should be size 16, double spaced. It'll make for easier reading when your adrenaline kicks in and gives you space for last-minute handwritten notes on the day. Also, each side A4 paper will be around 120 words and should take around one minute to read. Here's a link to a Google Docs template I set up for one of my couples a few months ago. I purposely formatted it for speeches. Hopefully, it saves you a little nerdy job.

If the team gives you a microphone, make sure you use it. Not sure how? Think of it like a flashlight, it'll amplify where you point it. Point it towards your mouth, hold it close enough that you're voice comes through the speakers clearly but not so close it picks up your breathing. About a closed fist from your mouth is an excellent place to start. Leave it on the microphone stand if it has one, and don't move it. If you have to handhold the microphone, it's not fragile, but don't cover the capsule, or you'll sound very muffled like your talking with your hand over your mouth. Finally, try not to nervously walk up and down, or you'll look like a bad stand up comic and risk getting loud squealing feedback from the PA system.

Finally, while delivering your speech on the big day, keep looking around at your audience for their reactions - It'll help your pace.

It’s your turn to take over. Good luck!